another fucking walmart

They're building another Walmart in my neighborhood. I'm contemplating a protest.

Super. As if we really need another Walmart. As if we really need another crowded, chaotic, everyday low price corporate-whore megastore, located about 3 miles away from the other megastore hell-hole. Dammit people, can't you see that this is not cost effective?!

The guys from Southpark were right, Walmart is taking over the world. Soon they'll be springing up on every corner. Not quite as bad as Starbucks, but close. I've tried discouraging my peeps from going to Walmart, but they just won't listen. It's too damn cheap. That's where they hook you. If I have to pay a little bit more to inhibit aiding a corporation that's somewhat on the verge of a monopoly, then by george, I'll do it. Some causes are worth spending for. Another one of the draws to Walmart is that they have everything and I mean everything, from tampons to tires. That's where they suck you in. The minds behind Walmart knew exactly what they were doing. People don't have time or money. Let's create a super store with, what seems to be by American standards, insanely low prices. Let's also sell everything; from clothes to houseware, jewelry to photoprocessing, food, cosmetics, hell even auto-maintenance. The masses won't ever buy anywhere else again. We'll drive out all others. They will come to us, over and over....forever! Mwaaaahhh haaaaaa haaaa!!

If there's anything more tortureous than going to Walmart than it would probably be working there. I really feel sorry for the people that work at Walmart. That has to be one of the most miserable places to work. I heard that during the hiring and training process for new employees at Walmart, they show you a video about how unions "are bad". Hmm. That doesn't seem ethical to me. Believe me, I know about lack of ethics. I worked at The Home Depot, which is one of the shittiest jobs I ever had, besides Macy's. The dread that I experienced every time I went into work was nearly vomit inducing. But man, going in to work at Walmart every day, that takes some kind of divine inner strength. That or a complete and utter disconnection of emotion and pain. You would have to get there and find a parking space in that zoo of a parking lot...shopping carts strewn all over the place. Then you get to go your register and put on that smock and stand at a register and ring up a bunch of assholes all day. Maybe if you're lucky you can work in a department. OOhh. A department, where people expect you to know everything about anything and where you can't even walk to the bathroom because people are attacking you like a pack of hungry jackals, demanding that you help them. Mmm. Sounds fantastic. Where do I sign up?

It's really a shame that Walmart is so evil. For my birthday I got this lunch box that I loved, it was yellow with a smiley face on it. Ironically, it was from Walmart, and I knew this because the person that bought it for me left the receipt in the bag. Not too smooth. Anyhow despite all that I loved that damn lunch box, but then I lost it. I forgot it in one of my night classes and the janitors must have stolen it because it wasn't there the next day. I'm still pretty bitter. I want to replace it, but I'm too proud to go to Walmart. Why should I pump more money into that business? They don't need it. Then again, it's just one lunch box. Look at me, I'm starting to buckle already. They've gotten to me too. I don't know how long I can resist the temptation. I can hear the Walmart calling to me, like a trio of sirens, singing it's enchanting tune of low low prices and shiny yellow lunch boxes. It's a tune that sounds far too sweet.

I mean, it wouldn't hurt to just buy one more item from them right? I don't really shop there anyway. Just the lunch box and that's it. No more.

Listen to me, I sound like a crack fiend looking for that one last fix. This is what Walmart has done to me. And this is what it will do to you too, if you're not careful. Don't let that little yellow smiley face fool you. Not everything that glitters is gold.

warmer weather = be more naked

Attention all penises. It's that time of year again; Spring time. If you go to San Diego State University, this invariably means you get to see half naked girls at school. Yeaaah.

I'm a people watcher. People amuse me; their mannerisms, their tendencies, their flair. My school is a great place for people watching, and for the fella's, well now is a great time to pull up a lawn chair and feast your eyes. The weather has been real dandy lately, so of course the ladies have bumped it up several notches in the flesh department. From the looks of things, they need two haircuts to pull off some the outfits they've been wearing. Yowza!

Ever seen a girl wearing a triangle bikini top as attire to school? I have. I saw that twice this week as a matter of fact. Ever seen a tube top double as a shirt and a skirt? Me neither, but that would be something wouldn't it?

In all seriousness, the wardrobe choices parading around my campus never fail to surprise me. Talk about screaming for attention. I can understand wanting to look and feel attractive, but let's be reasonable here. We don't always have to try so hard to look stunning, especially at school. How else would we be able to differentiate the times we do look stunning, unless we slobbed it up a little sometimes? For instance, it gets me when I see females that insist on dressing like hookers at the gym. I swear that on an average day at the school gym I will see more than one set of ass cheeks peeking out from some shorts that are 3 sizes too small. Of course the shorts will have something written on the ass, to ensure that you look at those cheeks. Just the other day I saw a girl jumping up and down and clapping gleefully in front of two other boys and her huge knockers were practically flying out of her tank top. Those two boys were micro-meters away from spying her areolas.

I won't judge too harshly though, because I used to dress like a hooch when I was younger too. Now that I'm more mature and sophisticated, I know that I don't need to do such things. Not at school at least.

I guess what I'm getting at is, hormones and sexuality are a force that's larger than life. Let's stop fighting it. My theory is, the heat and high winds must have created some kind of wafing effect that has scattered phermone particles around, thus moving the girls at my school to get more naked, in order to find their mate. It's very scientific really. Much like the female baboon's red bloated ass gets when she's in heat. As the Blood Hound Gang said it best, "you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel". We are indeed mammals, so why do we insist on denying our animal side? Take the Banobo chimpanzees, to which we are very closely related. They hump each other silly and they are as happy and peaceful as can be. We can learn a lot of from those randy chimps, if we weren't so pretentious. How 'bout it people? Let's F- like the Banobos do. I don't suggest a mass orgy, I merely wish we would bury these feelings of shame and guilt towards sex that those puritans created. After all, there have been studies that suggest a more active and pleasurable sex life decreases cases of dementia and other mental disturbances. That means sex can't be all that bad for you, unless you're stupid and bang anything that moves without protection to fill some kind of void in your life, but that goes without saying.

I mainly target the believers in abstinence here. If we face the facts, we'll see that sex is a force that's larger than life. Instead of trying to stop it from happening altogether, let's try to educate others on some of the risks and precautions to take when sexually active. Not to get all preachy here, but let's keep it real. All know is, some of the most jaded and bitter people I know have practically fossilized genitalia. For the sake of others and most importantly yourself, let's not willingly put ourselves in that situation just because we feel the need to be uptight. There's really no need. Having morals is well and good, but even morals should be practiced in moderation. If more sex means happier people, then cheers to that.

let them die, will ya?

*Note- If this blog seems insensitive, that's because it is.

A lot of people are being portrayed in the media right now who either died or are on the brink of death. At the same time, the masses seem to be to so unaccepting of their inevitable deaths, so unwilling to face reality. In some cases, the masses are just so darn opinionated on what should happen to these peoples lives, as if they have any say on the matter. That just burns me up. Accept it people...let them die already!

Terry Schiavo's dead. She wanted it that way. And you know what? I would too. I'm a big believer in quality ruling all over quantity. Sure Terry could have lived much longer, about as active as a sack of potatoes, sucking applesauce through a feeding tube, completely unaware of the world around her, but why would she want to? What kind of life is that? I would rather die than be a vegetable; wouldn't everyone? In the good old days, Terry's tribe would have left her behind...to die of course, but her memory would still be sacred and dignified. Not like those images of her portrayed by the media, where she's frozen stiff, mouth agape, drooling; hideous and undignified. Have these people no remorse? That whole episode was pretty unfair to that woman, because she let her wishes be known in writing and everyone had to make a public stink about it nevertheless. Her family should be bitch slapped backwards and forwards. How selfish does one have to be to want to keep someone alive, although they're miserable, just because they would "miss them"? Aww shucks, I can't hug their lifeless body anymore. Gee, I can't be near her in her near deteriorated state. Aww poo. Get over yourself! Let the poor woman die. Who's worse than Terry's selfish family members, who tried to keep a comatose woman alive for their own guilty pleasure? The naysayers.

Those no good naysayers protesting and judging. All those shmoes who had no relation to Terry Schiavo that made it known that they didn't approve of her feeding tube being removed should mind their own damn business. Especially the ones who are actors and actresses that use their fame as a platform to force their meaningless and unwanted opinions to be heard. For instance, Mel Gibson and the wife on "Everbody Loves Raymond". I loathe those two. I especially loathe the actress from Everybody Loves Raymond because she did commercials for Albertsons grocery stores when their employees went on strike due to poor wages. People like them can't resist casting judgment, as if they are so perfect and qualified to flap their gums on the matter. Fools! Who are you? You are just a bimbo actor, so who cares what you think. Next topic.

The pope's dead. Let's put him in a glass chamber and stare at him, see if anything happens. Sounds like a good idea.

Jeez. I'm going to hell. But honestly, that's kind of morbid. Surely not my idea of a good time. Why would you want to go stare at a dead body? I don't care who it is, it's still knarly. I guess it's sad that the pope died, but let's be real, he was due. He looked pretty bad and you couldn't understand him anyway. Besides, he lived a good life. Life wasn't too bad at the Vatican. Pretty decadent if you ask me. He had everything he needed...except for one thing, but that was his choice. Let's not fall apart here people. The pope had a good run.