The Smallest Violin in the World

Oh angst!  Remove thy hands from off my throat!  I do not seek thee by any means! 

I search for someone purely as a means of escape.  I exert myself physically, in order to avoid.  I chase lofty dreams.  I convince myself otherwise.  I say, you don't have to if you don't want to. You can be selfish if you so choose.  My angst is still not quelled.

I place my heart in your hands and you drop it on your walk home.  You don't even hear it splatter when it hits heavy upon the sidewalk.  You just stroll along, head in the clouds, reaching for a cigarette.  Long forgotten.  Happiness is a four letter word.

I fight not to be alone, because I'm supposed to be alone.  This is my path and it was chosen for me.  You were placed along this path so you could kick me as I crossed you.  You didn't necessarily mean harm, you just couldn't help yourself.  I wear the bruises of lovers past.  Some take longer to heal than others, some never go away, some are forever hidden from sight.

Do we flourish when happy?  Or are we weakened by our joy?  This is the way it goes when we blindly we lead our lives, driven by false notions, unsure of the difference between need and want.  And I continue paddling upstream with a disposable spoon.  I sure am thirsty, can somebody please hand me an ore?