I suck the medicine into my lungs and I think about how to grow up quickly.  Or at least, at an accelerated rate.

Step 2.

Go away.  Go far away from everything you know.  Go to a place where you don't have a damn thing.  Go to a place where you have no friends, no family, no job.  Go where no immediate sense of support exists.  Strip the walls of comfort down.  Though you may fall apart when the thick, velvet curtains are parted and you stand naked in the piercing light of dawn, trembling and terrified, don't be too shocked when you still find yourself alone.  Don't be surprised when the "right thing," or the answer to your problems doesn't come.  Oh sure, you can call home, cry and complain to your hearts content.  But when your lifeline dries up, there is no choice.  You must go it alone.  Suffer, sisters!

This may lead you to drink, or cry, or seek bad sex from a stranger.  This may lead to severe anxiety, longing, insomnia, credit card debt, over-eating and self loathing.  You might also become a drag to be around, angry and abusive to your fellow man.  Your heart will harden, sure.  But months, maybe years later, you will look back on the multitude of difficulties you decidedly brought upon yourself.  You fool, they said to you.  No one understood why you chose to suffer the way you did, and you still can't quite explain it to them, but you will admit the occasional surrender to fearlessness propels you in a necessary direction.  Because right now, you can't imagine your life any other way.