another one bites the dust

The sadomasichistic cult that everyone calls Christianity has claimed another victim, a person I once dubbed as 'pretty cool'.  But no longer.  Tear. 

You see, this story goes back; way back.  Joser was a boy that always took the latest trend and just ran with it.  Not too many boys that I know are really at all concerned with fashion, (although this new metro-sexual queer eye for the straight guy nonsense will make short of that) but Joser is one of those guys that is.  And he doesn't like penis.  So one minute he's a rastafarian vegan, sporting dreadlocks and always getting stoned.  Then he was one of those 'The Strokes' type pseudo hipsters with a mullet.  Then he became a hardcore surfer.  And so on, but he would just jump from trend to trend.  He wouldn't just jump, he would dive in.  Head first.  I actually started calling him poser instead of Joser.  Not to his face.  So when Joser and his girlfriend of a couple years broke up, he was completely devastated.  There was huge void there, because she had been his life up until that point.  That's when it started to get scary.

So I saw Joser for the first time in a few months at a friends house last week.  He had a shaved head and was dawning a new tattoo.  It took up his entire back and was an image of an angel of Christ or something and it cost him well over $700.  A tattoo of "The Last Supper" was also in the works.  Then he started talking about his religion.  He informed us that he had gone to church that day from 9 am to 4 pm.  I don't know about you, but I would not volunteer my entire day to be spent inside a church.  How deathly boring.  Then he started explaining that humans are inherently evil and that we are born wicked and there's really nothing we can do about it.  He kind of started ranting and raving. 

"We're sinners and that's it.  It's human nature.  The only way that we are going to save ourselves is to be in the church 24/7 everyday.  It's the only way to get into heaven.  You know?  I don't trust myself even.  I don't.  You know, I stopped smoking weed and I had a really bad trip the last time I did it, and I was like ok God.  This is how you want it to go for my last time?  Alright.  Then so be it.  And that's why I changed.  I am just dedicating myself to my religion.  I want to start new.  That's why I shaved my head today... It was like a cleansing... I just wanted to shed everything, shed all the impurities away.  I don't like who I was and where my life was going.  That's why I've taken Jesus into my life and I don't want to go back...I just can't be that way anymore...I just can't...I don't want it."

FYI there was nothing wrong with the way his 'life' was going before, except for the whole poser thing.  The scariest part of all was that everyone grew awkwardly silent and he just kept on talking.  Not only did he continue, but he started getting really flustered and neurotic, finicky almost.  It was difficult to watch.  I was really disturbed and frightened.  I really hate organized religion as it is, so Joser was like the antichrist to me at that point.  I was so traumatized that I had to leave the room.  It was like a bad scene out of the movie, Saved!  Imagine you knew someone who was totally normal and chill, then you see them a couple months later and they are totally transformed into a bible toting psycho.  Pretty scary, huh?   

For a second there I was going to interject and inform him that everything he was saying was BULLSHIT, but I didn't want to get hurt over it.  Who knows what that wannabe pious freak was capable of when his religion was insulted.  Anyhow, it pained me to see such a lovely fellow get brainwashed so badly by those Christian fuckos.  I suppose they saw that him at his most vulnerable and sucked him right in.  Bastards. 

I remember at my old community college legions of bible thumpers were found in swarms, hunting down the next new victim.  There wasn't a day where one of those holy rollers wouldn't approach me.  And believe me I avoided them like the plague.  But they would always get me.  And DAMN were they pushy.  It was always some girl, who claimed that she was a real trifling whore back in her day...that is before she found Jesus.  But now that she found Jesus her life is so in order, and goddammit she's never been happier.  She always insisted that I come to the bible study, which was so fun, because they really explored the bible in depth and learned the real truth about the bible.  Though I assured her that it sounded like a real scream, I wasn't interested.  In one particular instance the girl got real nasty with me when I turned her down and asked me if I wanted to go to hell.  I told her that I already was in hell, but thank you.  She was a little taken aback by that and left me alone after that. 

Seriously though, I'm not buying the heaven and hell tactic anymore.  If they think I'm going to behave to avoid going to "hell", they've got another thing coming.  What is hell anyway?  I burn forever?  Whats going to burn, my body?  Because I thought that got left behind.  Then if my body isn't present, where does the pain come from because I thought all the neurons and whatnot played a part in feeling physical pain.  Ah, what the hell do I know anyway?  All I know is, if there actually is a hell that we go to after already living in one here on earth, God is cruel indeed.
  
Moral of the story:  Don't let them (the Christians) take you.  They see you sad, alone and with your pants down.  Then WAMMO!  Right in the butt. 

Down with organized religion.