A Perturbed Teenager's Take On Breeders of the Less Intelligent Kind
The other day my mom came into my room and asked me if I could come downstairs and watch my sisters five month old while she picked up her other two grandkids from school. This was something that took about 20 minutes max, but those 20 minutes were pretty hellatious, let me tell you.
Picture scraping feces out of the crevices of a screaming child's rear, which was pretty much what my babysitting adventure summed up to. This made me wonder why so many people longingly aspired to have children. Why? Why do people want to have kids so bad? I know there's benefits to having children, but there's also a good chance that your kids will hate you no matter what. Scraping feces out of the crevice of my kids ass does not equate to them not resenting me in the end. It should. And if that's the case, where do I sign up? And to think people keep popping out those suckers like they're going out of style.
Don't get me wrong, I am not a child hater. Kids are great. I like to play with them, then send them on their way. What I hate most is people who have kids whom aren't fit to. Some people shouldn't breed! But those who shouldn't breed happen to be breeding the most! My sister for instance. She's a sub par mother, which is fucked, as she has three kids. They're always sick, aren't fully potty trained and were basically raised by the t.v. Just pop in some Disney! Disney is crack for kids. Little Bobby can't read for shit, but he will recite "The Emperor's New Groove" to you word for word. Then they grow up to be retards like their parents. And the cycle continues. It's not their fault. But it's not mine either and I'm paying for it. We all are. The population is exploding as it is, we don't need more useless human beings around taking up our precious oxygen. The philosophy on having children should be comparative to that of obtaining a drivers license; it's not a right, it's a priveledge.
Not too shabby of an idea, eh? Competency tests would be required prior to engaging in procreation. Those who pass can freely have children and those who don't can have, for instance...a gold fish, perhaps. They would be free to retake the competency test and their progress on caring for a gold fish would be observed by the people from social services. Then if they improve they can upgrade to a mammal. And so on and so forth. That would make the potential creators of pathetic human beings think twice about creating pathetic human beings. That or just sterilize everyone. Whatever's easier.
4 Comments:
You've got my vote for the sterilization. I read an artivle in "Le Devoir" last week that claimed obeisity, ADHD, social problems etc. as a byproduct of parents' unwillingness to engage and activly raise their childeren (and most proffesional couples just don't have them).
But, how would you propose certifying potential parents for child-rearing? Manditory "how to look after kids" classes in high school? (that wouldn't go over very well with current parents).
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I absolutely believe that article in "Le Devior" to be completely correct. All the mental disorders that have erected nowadays are from neglegence and disfunctional ubringings. Mandatory "looking after kids" classes in high school would seriously be one way to rectify the situation. I would propose that kind of class in college, but the educated people aren't the ones that are breeding like crazy. And of course the parents wouldn't be too happy about it, damn pilgrims never want to own up to anything. I guess if we really were feeling serious about it, government might have to step in and pose some legislation on the matter. Perhaps a Pigouvian tax would be necessary: tax a negative externality (having kids without a competency permit) and subsidize a positive externality (follow the rules and pass the competency test). But oh, imagine the uproar that cause, regarding our rights. Yet I don't see anyone crying about the Patriot Act, which really is a bunch of crappola. Dag nab people are too complacent to even care.
Nice with the Pigou! here in Canada, there is a "family benefits" package. That is, childeren (though considered as consumption expenses for tax purposes) are, in a manner, subsidized for low-income families. However, a government might be able to make such a subsidy contingent, not upon fmaily income, but upon having taken and scored a basic benchmark on a parenting course. It would be essential, however, to have regular material updates and even perhaps councilling (ie: "my child did this, i don't know what to do...").
I was excited for a moment, but in retrospect, there shouldn't have to be such courses or subsidies, the councilling sessions should be done for free with other parents; the old adage of "it takes an entire community to raise a child" whimpers in the back of my mind while proffessional corporate culture gives it a smack and tells it to shut up...
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