how the anglos get down

For the first time in my life, I was a first-hand witness to the process that takes place when one of your own friends gets married. In addition to making me aware of my accelerated aging process, attending this wedding helped me realize that white people are drier than a day old piece of bread.  Especially old white people. 
 
I went to the wedding shower too.  That experience was very much like watching paint dry, to be honest.  The only good part was that I got fed (potato salad and some m&m's) and I got to go home with a fabulous gift bag that included a magnet with a picture of the lovely couple.  I haven't quite decided what to do with it.  The worst part was when we had to play ridiculous games, like quizzing the bride to be on her fiancee's likes and dislikes and for every wrong answer she had to stick a piece of gum in her mouth.  Pretty wild.  It was difficult to sit through since I really don't give a rats ass whether the groom likes creamy or chunky peanut butter.  After that, then we got to watch her open cards and read them.  It was sheer torture. 
 
In contrast, I went to a Mexican wedding shower and they had booze and even this homoerotic dance troupe, which they call SOS.  These guys basically go in there and drag all the yenta women out onto the dance floor, then lead them through a series of dance routines which everyone is supposed to do in unison.  It's pretty freaking queer, but at least it's fun and light hearted.  The point is, every Hispanic wedding I've been to is relatively lively; the reception is all about drinking, dancing and good times for all.
 
So my friend's wedding, which was largely made up of anglosaxons, was pretty damn dull.  Coincidence?  I think not.  For one, the DJ was playing country western.  Not only was the choice of music terrible, but the ultimate wedding reception faux pas was committed.  They played the chicken dance song.  I was horrified, more so because I jokingly predicted that they would play the chicken dance and they did.  And people danced to it.  Well, the bride and groom and maybe two other people, who were pretty much the only people dancing the entire night.  And its no wonder why they were the only ones dancing.  Music is a key factor when it comes to parties and celebrations.  You just don't screw that part up.  Anyhow, it was boooring.  So it got me thinking, why are white people so dull?  Do they have some kind of boring gene that they pass along from generation to generation along with a lack of rhythm?
 
I kid.  That was a very hasty generalization.  Not all white people are drier than a day old piece of bread.  Not all...just some.  Some meaning most.  Especially the old ones.