martha stewart living...in prison!

I just found out that Martha Stewart has been sentenced to prison and I can't decide whether I'm elated or sympathetic.  Martha Stewart always gave me that 'evil bitch' vibe.  I've read a thing or two about her and how she can be, ummm, intimidating.  A modern day Joan Crawford, if you will.  And I know you will.  So when this whole scandal started and she had to go to court, I was kind of hoping she would go down in flames.  I thought to myself, "It would be nice to see that whore Martha Stewart go to prison.  That would be something."  Wouldn't it?  Well now it's a reality.  I don't really feel that satisfaction that I thought I would feel.  What is wrong with me??  Has the hater in me subsided?  Or maybe...
 
So it got me thinking.  Perhaps Martha Stewart gets a bad rap for being a ball buster, super anal, driven and all that good stuff even more so because she's a woman and she's successful.  She really just knows what she wants so we deemed her a "bitch".  That's what we call most intelligent and assertive women.  Like Hillary Clinton.  She's a "bitch" too.  
 
Even so, Martha Stewart still really just seems like a bitch.  But that's not my point.
 
This whole trial is revolving around an unethical and illegal move made by Stewart , but it couldn't be any worse than what the Enron guys did.  And then you may remember our old pals OJ and Condit.  Sure Condit was never deemed guilty, but then again neither was OJ, so go figure.  Killing is ok, but cheating in the stock market is baaad.
 
Five months in prison is pretty short, but it's just long enough to take any bit of the tender ass left in her OUT.  Imagine Martha after prison if you thought she was scary now.  I suppose there will be plenty of jokes we could make about her stay in prison and how she will keep herself busy in there with arts and crafts.  I wonder if they would let her continue airing Martha Stewart Living live from prison.  What a hoot that would be.  
 
"Hello everyone.  Welcome to Martha Stewart Living, the prison edition.  Today my bitch and I will be showing you all how to transform this ordinary toothbrush into a weapon.  We will also be making homemade tampons out of paper mache and cotton.  And in the last segment of our program, we will show you how to store and smuggle the unthinkable in your vagina."   
 
Good times.  Hey, Martha said she'd be back.  I believe her too.  See you in five months Martha.  Stay strong girl.