clumsy ox

I'm a classic klutz. I manage to hurt myself very easily, trip in front of others, knock stuff over and I always always spill food on my clothes when I eat. So it's no wonder that I seem to embarrass myself more than the next guy. If it's not by my doing, then I am unlucky enough to be humiliated by some other means.

I had one of those moments were you wish the ground would just open up and swallow you at work the other day. I work at my school and being that it's almost time for school, it was orientation day for all the new international students. The kids were gathered in one large meeting room and all the staff got filed in there like cattle to introduce themselves. As we walked in single file, my co-worker in front of me brushed against the curtain rod along the wall, causing it to swing forward and perfectly smack me in the face as it swung back. It happened in unison, perfectly humiliating and even more so because the rod hit my glasses, which made a loud noise. The loud noise caused those who hadn't already seen this travesty in process, to turn and view it just in time. I heard a few muffled scoffs and snickers shortly thereafter. My reaction? I could do nothing but gasp in horror, in disbelief almost. Then after that I got to introduce myself to the crowd. "Hi, my name is Cynthia. You may remember me as the girl who just got bitch slapped by a curtain rod." That's the way they will remember me anyway.

It was almost as embarrassing as the time I stood up right underneath a fire extinguisher box in the hall in front of my chemistry lab class. My skull also made a thunderous noise when it met with the box, causing everybody to go, "OOOHHHHH!" Utterly pathetic.

When God, when? When's gonna be my time?!