i like boys with ugly hands

Every doomed relationship that I've been in has involved an ugly boy that has beautiful hands. I don't know why this always happens. In terms of all my boyfriends usually being ugly, I have the tendency to end up with the "nice guy", although they don't usually end up being so nice in the end, they just initially seem like big sweethearts because they are trying real hard to get laid. And it works, with me at least. I think to myself, eh, he is really sweet. I'm sure I'll grow to like him. WRONG. I have made this error twice now, you don't really grow to like a person, unless you live in a country that does the arranged marriage thing. Then you really don't have a choice. Sure you'll hit a high point where you are duped into not being aware of your misery for a short period of time, but it's only a matter of months before it all goes to hell and you'll be shrinking away from his advances in semi-horror. But I will say, I might have been repulsed by a couple of my mediocre looking boyfriends, but I always took comfort in the fact that they had beautiful hands. I know it's odd, but I would always observe those beautiful, strong hands of theirs, and marvel at them. "Man you have some beautiful hands", I would say. And that was it. Well, yes they were nice too. But not as nice as their hands.

What constitutes beautiful hands, you ask? Well, the fingernails have a lot to do with it. They usually have a nice shape, very egg-like and symmetrical. The fingers are long and slender, but not too long and slender. Men's hands are should also appear strong if they want to be considered beautiful in my eyes. The features are delicate, but masculine. Dryness is completely necessary. The hands must be dry and somewhat soft. The idea of holding a perpetually sweaty hand gets my gag reflex going.

So now it seems that every time I've felt knocked on my ass in love with a guy, which has not happened many times, it has been with guys that have ugly ass hands. It's so weird. I have felt pretty much the same about each guy I've been madly in love with: totally enamored by everything about them, looks personality, etc.--but they also happened to have really ugly hands. Their hands were callous infested, with hang nails, finger nails that grow strangely or nails that are bitten down until the flesh appears raw, and so on. But you know what? I love that! I love their ugly fucking hands because that means I'm really in love. Every time I've been in love, there are ugly hands involved. Every time I've been involved with someone I didn't love, I spend most of the relationship trying to tear their beautiful hands off of me. Thus, ugly hands=love and happiness. It's just too uncanny. I want to scream it from the highest mountain. I like boys with ugly hands! Embrace me with your beastly, crappy hands! I beseech you!