Grandma was a Nazi

Horns blare. I turn towards the direction of the fuss and see a maniacal older couple making angry gestures from inside their approaching vehicle. This couple was a testament to the truth behind the saying, “the evil never die.” Grandma’s Hundai came plowing down the mini roads of the city park, and she was more than willing to take down anyone in her path, even a group of evangelists taking a peace walk. After all, a bingo game awaited her, and her Depends were leaking.

She had a rabid look in her eye, and it frightened me. You know how some old people are so ancient that most of their physical features turn white, including their eyes? Gross. I endeavor not to get that old. In any case, this Aryan couple was in a hurry and they were mad. The decrepit, elderly beast sends her equally decrepit husband out of the car to stop the flow of pedestrians, liver spots and all. The protestors continue to march, and the Grandma continues to pound on her horn, while her husband makes his way over to the group of bewildered people. Park Ranger Jacobs noticed the brou-ha-ha, and walks briskly over to the old man, who is beginning to block people from crossing the street.

“Hold it right there, sir,” Park Ranger Jacobs says firmly. “You have to wait. These people are in the middle of a peace protest.”

“But my wife and I are in a hurry…” the old man barks back, motioning with one trembling hand towards the car.

“I don’t care whether you’re in a hurry or not. You have to wait,” Park Ranger Jacobs says, indignant.

From inside the vehicle, Grandma goes ape shit. She shoves her veiny blue hand out the window and waves it in a fit of rage. Her mouth is open. Thin lips parted into a rabid half-moon, she shouts words that can’t be heard, only imagined. She is a cantankerous, old cuss.

Her Hundai begins to roll forward, against the advice of Park Ranger Jacobs, against the will of the people, against anything that is decent and human.

“Ma’am! Ma’am please! I told you that you have to wait!” Park Ranger Jacobs was fairly agitated by this point. If there ever was a chance of Grandma being allowed to pass through the impending group of protesters, it was gone now. Her husband, defeated, hobbles back to the Hundai. Incensed, the elderly couple waited for the evangelists to pass, for a whole two minutes. They still made it to bingo on time, though they did not win anything that day, or for many days to come.