i like dogs, but not like that

I love dogs. All dogs. Except for my cousin's dog, who is what I believe to be Satan's incarnate. He's one of those small yippy dogs, bordering more on the insane side. Every time you come over to her house, he will attack you when you try to leave. I don't know why; no one does really. He just starts screeching in octaves you wouldn't believe existed, while simultaneously barking and biting at your ankles when you head to the door, every single time you visit. On several occasions he's broken the skin. A car ran him over once. He didn't die. The evil never do.

So a pair of my friends have 3 dogs. The dogs never really made an impact in my life until I was at a going away party at their house about 3 weeks back. The party was held in the dogs usual hangout spot, so they were temporarily placed in a holding tank, where they could actively observe the party, and thus beg for food and attention through the gate. One of the dogs put on quite a show for us, where he would jump up and stick his arms through the gate and wave them enthusiastically. It was rather amusing.

"OK fella, you win," I think to myself. I then decided that this dog had earned its right to get some attention from me, so I lugged myself over from my folding chair, to the dog's holding tank. The dog's name is Vito, and he's one of those Siberian Huskies. They're the ones with the white eyes and fur coat. I then commenced to give him a nice thorough petting. I feel that my affection is really good. I suppose the dog seconded that motion, because it's eyes went from small dot of a pupil and white iris to really huge, dilated pupils...just as if the dog had taken 2 hits of ecstasy. The pooch suddenly looked more like a Japanese cartoon character than a wolf, which struck me as odd. Yet it was absolutely fascinating to see those trademark Huskie eyes change from "instinctual" mode to "frying balls" mode.

But what I found to be even more bizarre was that the dog was nursing an erection. Somewhere amidst the wonderment that came along with encountering Vito's overly dilated pupils and petting his great white coat, I glanced down to find 'Mr. red slime rod' poking out between Vito's hind legs. I immediately pulled my hand back in horror.

"Ewww! Bad dog!"

Why did the dog get a hard on? Does that mean that I turned the dog on? Did Vito get hot from me petting him? Is that why his penis reared its ugly head? I petted him in the most standard way you would pet an animal...on the head and back...no funny business, no extra attention to the dog's underside and belly. I just don't understand.

I walked away from Vito then, leaving him to pant and eventually shrivel at the height of his ecstasy. He had taken advantage of my affections, and made lewd gestures toward me. I felt used. I didn't mention anything for the shame enveloped me beyond words. I guess I'm traumatized by male dogs because I was humped by a dog in heat once and it scarred me for life. T'was a humiliating experience indeed.

And so ends the story of a dog who got too excited when I petted him. So excited in fact, that his eyes dilated beyond the brink of reason and his ugly red wiener thing popped out to say hello. That's when I had to say goodbye. Dirty dog.