Dictionary Family Tree

Oxford Dictionary:

The all knowing, respected grand dad.  The scholar, the Cadillac, the Don Corleone of dictionaries.  If you really want to know what's up, sans the bullshit and speculation, you go see him.  Seek truth or seek nothing.

Merriam Webster:

The sluttier sister-in-law.  Not as reliable as Oxford, but easier to get to, so she becomes a preferred method.  Convenience and accessibility are of most importance these days.  Contemporary times call for contemporary measures, don't they?  Sure you can say cooking and knitting are a lost art, but I still don't see anyone doing anything about it.  

Urban Dictionary:

The perverted, alcoholic Uncle who spends his entire paycheck at the race track.  The Jerry Springer of dictionaries.  The derelict.  The guilty pleasure.  Despite all this, you can't contest he is oh-so-fun...